How to be more assertive?

So like most SA people, I have a naturally non-assertive personality and grew up in an extremely strict household. I never had much self-awareness of this until recently since I've been trying to do therapy on myself. But when I look back on my life, oh yeah, it's so obvious. When I was younger I had absolutely no ability to assert myself.

Since I began working on correcting this, I notice that I am uncomfortable saying 'no' to people. Much more difficult though is making demands of others. You could probably describe saying 'no' as a defensive act, so that is probably why it is easier for me. But making demands of someone? That is much more proactive and assertive. Sometimes I feel guilty for letting the person down or inconveniencing them, and other times it's like there's a deep-seated fear of some repercussion that I'll have to endure.


I didn't find the right solution from the Internet.



References  http://forum.socialanxietyinstitute.org/t/how-to-be-more-assertive/884


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